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Husband goes out with other women

I have been married for almost 6 years, now my husband cannot leave other women alone. It started a while back but now since we moved, its gotten worse - he talks to them on the phone all the time, now he has started going out with them.
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalaam alaikum wa rahmatullah

May Allah bless you and your family to live in peace and harmony!
Marriage is an institute which can be as firm as a rock or weak as a thread, it is up to the partners to make it either one. Due to the influence of Shaytaan, bad desires and environment outside and inside the home, sometimes a married man starts making an affair with a non-Mahram
woman and may lose interest in his own wife at home. This article discusses some causes of this problem and a few suggestions for the wife to re-gain her husband�s love.
At the time of concern and tension in domestic affairs, review your life pattern to see in how many ways you can improve yourselves.

Protection of eyes:
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This is one of the biggest concerns in the Ummah today, affecting both the young an old. The outside environment (streets, markets, workplaces,social events) and media inside homes (TV, magazines, internet) and filled
with opportunities to look at non-Mahram faces. If someone does not protect the eyes and looks with lust and desires, his heart may be occupied with dozens of beautiful faces and may easily forget his own wife.

Disrespect and quarrels at home:
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Even if the wife is sincere in her heart, sometimes abusing the tongue on domestic issues may lead the husband to feel disrespected. If the wife does not treat the husband well, he may find more peace talking to strange women outside home. Usually the people outside home (for example, at the
markets and social events) appear more polite, courteous and keeping a soft and sweet-tone. This is a �big competition� for the spouse at home to surpass the loving and admiring attitude experienced in the outside world!

Suggestions for Happy Marraige
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Kindly review our advice on Happy Marriage � Living with Peace and Harmony
at Home at http://islameasy.org/Marriage_Advice.php

Manners and protection of tongue:
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From our elders we have learned that the best method to increase the love between the husband and the wife is to obtain great morals and etiquettes and to guard our tongue. By doing both of those, one will be able to attract your spouse into a never ending love. Please review the following
article:
http://islameasy.org/K213_Tongue_protection.php

List of husband�s likes and dislikes:
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Living closely for a period of time, the wife knows the secrets of do�s and don�ts which pleases the husband. At the time of difficulty and concern, when the husband is not behaving well, extra precaution should be taken and a �selfless� attitude is needed to win his heart.

Looking for rights or love?
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�Do not go by the book of �My Rights�. Go by the book of Love, Ihsaan and khidmat. In other words, if every person goes out of his or her way to fulfill the rights of others, instead of demanding his or her own rights, or goes a step further than just fulfillment of rights, i.e. he or she
goes out of his or her way to be kind, caring, loving and forgiving, then automatically this world will become a paradise.�
(Hedyatus Saalikeen, selected quotes by Shaykh Yunus Patel, 1998, South Africa)

A warm-welcome of the husband:
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When the husband enters home and looks at the wife with love and mercy and wife also looks at the husband with love and mercy, Allah looks at both of them with mercy.
Entering and leaving home with Salam and Du�a keeps the Shaytaan away.

The wife at home should decorate herself for the husband when he arrives home and meet with him cheerfully. On the other hand, when a woman goes out of her home (for example, for a social event), she should wear simple and modest clothing and observe complete Hijaab in front of non-Mahram. In practice, this is not followed in today�s society which opens the door of issues.

Virtues of good deeds:
----------------------
Imagine a pious wife making Du�a for his husband after every Salah: May Allah make him a pious man! May Allah bless him with wisdom and knowledge of Deen! May Allah accept all his good deeds and keep Shaytaan away from
him!

Pray Salat-ul-Hajat and Istekhara before making important decisions. See the main page at http://islameasy.org/

Give some Sadaqa on behalf of your spouse.

Increase time for Du�a, especially if you could wake up during the last part of night. Here is a startup script and examples of Dua:

Dua from the Core of Heart http://islameasy.org/pdf/Duae_Walihana.pdf

Munajaat-e-Maqbool
http://islameasy.org/Dua_MM_2.php

Environment of pious people:
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Find a pious Shaykh near your area and encourage the husband to attend his programs with intention to acquire the love of Allah Almighty. Listen to lectures and read books on pious husband and wife.

Read books of virtues (like Muntakhab Ahadith, Riyadus-Saliheen) with your family for 5-10 minutes every evening.
Request the husband to bring some Islamic books of good deeds, Du�a and zikr for the family.

If there is a gathering for Taleem (Islamic knowledge to increase faith and good deeds) encourage your spouse to attend. Your masjid Imam and community may help you find such programs.

Only Allah knows what is beneficial for us. He is All Wise, All Merciful.

May Allah bless you and your family to live in peace and harmony! Ameen!

Recommended Readings for wife:
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The Rights of Husband by Shaykh Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar
http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/the-rights-of-husband

The Rights of a Husband and his Status* by Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani
*Discourses on Islamic Way of Life volume-2, Darul-Ishaat.

Recommended Readings for Husband:
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The Rights of Women by Shaykh Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar
http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/rights-of-women



And Allah knows best.

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